Dear Leslie, In a recent column you suggest that someone start his or her own business after a bad termination. Everything I have heard elsewhere has the opposite view and I agree with it. Employers are hesitant to hire someone who has their own business. The reason is obvious. An entrepreneur is much more likely to quit a job working for someone else and start a new business, depriving the employer of the employee they spent a lot of money to train. A person who decides to start their own business but still intends to continue working for others in the future should do two things: AD Quality Auto 360p 720p 1080p Top articles1/5READ MOREWalnut’s Malik Khouzam voted Southern California Boys Athlete of the Week 1. Continue looking for an outside employer. 2. Never mention that they have/had their own business – unless, of course, the period of time between employer jobs is too long and cannot be otherwise accounted for. Dear Reader, You’ve laid out the real concerns of employers who are wary of hiring entrepreneurs. But if you address these issues directly, some may well be persuaded to reconsider. “You can argue the upside by saying, ‘I’ve been there, I’ve done that and now stability and being part of a team are more important to me,”‘ says Dave Opton, CEO of ExecuNet ( www.execunet.com ), a fee-based Web site that provides job search and career management for executives. For companies looking to hire new leaders, entrepreneurial experience falls into the plus column. “They want people who can adapt quickly, and who have demonstrated that they are self-motivated and have produced results,” says Opton. Opton says never hide your business because it’s so easy to turn up information through electronic searches. You may get fewer interviews, “but at least they’ll be real.” Dear Leslie, I am a 31-year-old male who just read your article on the importance of men “shedding tears.” As children, we are taught to hold our emotions back, to stand up and “be a man.” I openly express my emotions through tears. It feels good. I learned long ago that if I were to bottle up these emotions, they would turn into anger and rage, and that was not healthy for me or anyone I was involved with. The “Male Gender Stress Syndrome” theory holds that many men are emotional wrecks due to the pressure to live up to society’s expectations. In this constant mask wearing, men inflict stress upon themselves, which in turn can lead to drug abuse and verbal and physical abuse of loved ones. If this is what it means to be a man, then I wish my chromosomes started out a bit differently. I applaud your article. Dear Leslie, You asked for responses to that guy who wrote that women have “castrated” enough men over the past 30 years and told you to butt out and “Let us men be the way that has worked for us all since the beginning of time.” Perhaps he should tell that to all those New York City firefighters who shed tears as they watched their comrades’ bodies being recovered from the ruins of the World Trade Center in the days following Sept. 11, 2001. He might also say the same thing to the members of our armed forces in Afghanistan and Iraq who have to go through similar ordeals. Leslie Whitaker is co-author of “The Good Girl’s Guide to Negotiating.” Write her at [email protected] 160Want local news?Sign up for the Localist and stay informed Something went wrong. Please try again.subscribeCongratulations! You’re all set!